October 5, 2006
Edmonton. It's a name I've known all my life, yet know so little about. Is it odd not to know more whence I came? Ever since I can remember I have thought of making the trip, like a pilgrimage to the beginning of my life. Perhaps there are some hidden treasures here. Who knows what environmental forces helped to shape me. After 30 years, I have returned to see.

Edmonton was definitely a welcome site after my long drive. A respectable downtown skyline met my arrival like a friendly face and vanquished any doubts I had about coming here. The city is lushly adorned with trees and extensive parks with trails along the winding Saskatchewan River that cuts through the center of the city. It perhaps was not the homecoming feeling one might imagine, but just a good feeling of entering a nice new place.

Traveling within

Since I arrived here I have explored the city some, but surprisingly the city has not been my focus. While Edmonton does have its unique attractions and its own sense of city-hood, I realized that my purpose for being here is not about what I can find in any park, museum, building or person. In fact, no place in the world has what I'm looking for because it is, and always has been, within myself. This may sound ultra-philosophical, and perhaps even contrived, but it is a truth perhaps we all may come to know someday.

Coming here has been an escape from the routine I previously thought was my life. Edmonton has been practically a mantra for me to discover my own source of being. People tend to define themselves by their career, their achievements, their house, car, money, relatives, girlfriend and so many other superficial things. When you strip all that away, what are you left with? your past? your future? What about right now? All of these questions do have an answer. It is perhaps the most elusive and yet most sought-after answers of all time and likely a lifelong endeavor.

A new routine

Nearly a month has passed since my arrival and I have been living a comfortable and simple life. I am renting a room in a very nice house near the city centre. Thanks to Leanne, the woman who owns the house, my transition to Edmonton has been easy and stress-free. Having this place to stay has been a blessing and I feel very fortunate that she found me (thanks to Craigslist!).

Each morning I walk to a local coffee shop and spend some time writing in my journal. I have been trying to keep a regular schedule including yoga and work. I have started taking some classes to help fill my time, keep me learning and interacting with others. Each monday I have a hatha yoga class with a wondeful, knowledgeable teacher at Dakini Yoga. Wednesdays I am taking a Spanish class for travelers, so that I'll be better prepared for my trip to Spain. Fridays I am taking a group meditation/discussion class based on the chakras provided by Radha Yoga Centres.

Yoga means union

As a whole I am learning to live my life in yoga, the true meaning of which has been greatly lost in the West. Most Westerners think that yoga is just a workout like pilates, but the true meaning of the word yoga is 'union'. The purpose of yoga is to live in harmonious union with all things, to see the inherent connectedness of all and ultimately to know God. Yoga is not a religion, but is a personal spiritual practice that encourages one to seek answers within themselves. This requires the optimization and purification of the mind, body, heart and spirit. This is not an escape from worldly responsibilities, nor the repression of emotion or desire, but rather the opposite. When one lives in yoga they are changed from the root of their being, coming into purity, clarity and understanding through transformation leading to a life of fullness, effortlessness and great capability. Normally when one reaches this state they focus their energies to help others, because in their own process of becoming they have developed deep compassion and naturally lose former attachments to worldly or selfish gain.

A new beginning

My trip to Edmonton has satisfied my curiosity of my physical birthplace and has provided the seclusion for me to explore my mental and spirtual birthplace. In many respects I feel that my life is just now starting again. While a year ago I would have thought of my past in the context of time wasted, I am beginning to see a different, more cohesive picture of personal development. I am very thankful for all I have been able to experience. And for the first time in my life I really am not concerned about the future and am joyfully freeing myself of expectation, though I know my real work has only just begun.